Chelmsford Dog Grooming

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If you do have any dog related jokes you would like to share email Annie
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Dog dictionary (the blank boxes underneath each column header is to type in a search)
Dog's definition 
LeashA strap that attaches to your collar, enabling you to lead your person where you want him/her to go.
Dog BedAny soft, clean surface, such as the white bedspread in the guest room or the newly upholstered couch in the living room.
DroolA liquid that, when combined with sad eyes, forces humans to give you their food. To do this properly you must sit as close as you can and get drool on the human.
SniffA social custom used to greet other dogs, similar to the human exchange of business cards.
Garbage CanA container which your neighbors put out once a week to test your ingenuity. You must stand on your hind legs and try to push the lid off with your nose. If you do it right you are rewarded with margarine wrappers to shred, beef bones to consume and moldy crusts of bread.
BicyclesTwo-wheeled exercise machines, invented for dogs to control body fat. To get maximum aerobic benefit, you must hide behind a bush and dash out, bark loudly and run alongside for a few yards. The person then swerves and falls into the bushes, and you prance away.
DeafnessThis is a malady which affects dogs when their person wants them in and they want to stay out. Symptoms include staring blankly at the person, then running in the opposite direction or lying down.
ThunderThis is a signal that the world is coming to an end. Humans remain amazingly calm during thunderstorms, so it is necessary to warn them of the danger by trembling uncontrollably, panting, rolling your eyes wildly and following at their heels.
Waste BasketThis is a dog toy filled with paper, envelopes and old candy wrappers. It is important to evenly distribute its contents throughout the house before your person comes home.
BathIf you find something especially good to roll in, humans get jealous and they use this degrading form of torture to get even. Be sure to shake only when next to a person or a piece of furniture.
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Win's Pooch Parlour

(Last upload: 24/10/2015)